“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou. The existence of a problem or disagreement isn’t an issue. The issue rather is how you respond to it. It is never too late to master this crucial element – emotional intelligence. It literally sets apart super achievers from mediocres.
Daniel Goleman’s Work On Emotional Intelligence
Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and journalist, coined the term “Emotional Intelligence”. After embarking on research at companies around the world, Goleman realised that successful leaders weren’t just intelligent (which is the presence of high IQ), they also had a high degree of emotional intelligence (EQ) as defined by these five components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill.
Intelligence is the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations, and it stays constant irrespective of one’s age. Emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Although some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, this is a skill that can be developed even if you are not born with it.
Based on this definition, one can’t extrapolate emotional intelligence solely from a high IQ. TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills, and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs.
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Breakdown Of Emotional Intelligence
E.Q has two core elements – personal competence and social competence. Personal competence is being aware of one’s emotion and how to manage it. It includes the drive to achieve, self-awareness, self-confidence, self-investment, interpersonal savviness and relationship building. Social competence, on the other hand, is a person’s ability to get along with other people. Social competence is affected by how well one communicates with others, how relationships are managed.
Emotional Intelligence Can Be Developed
As Aristotle put it, we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Likewise emotional intelligence. It can be developed. A habit can be formed within 6 weeks to several years. It requires deliberate effort, consistency, and focus to achieve it. You have to teach your brain to react to circumstances differently – in a more positive and responsive manner. There has to be a desire to learn effective methods of achieving goals.
When confronted with a situation, take a step back from the situation and ask: what is the most effective way of addressing this situation? How can I solve this problem considering the needs of others and achieving maximum impact.
Not only will this crucial trait set you ahead of the pack, it will engender trust in you. You will be more productive. You will manage stressful situations better as you address things head on. More opportunities will come your way.
In order to let go of bad/inefficient habits or patterns, they need to be replaced with efficient and optimum behaviour. After practicing it for a while, it becomes second nature.
You can have all the eloquence and intelligence in the world but if you do not master Emotional Intelligence, phew, you will always be at a loss and even lose out on great opportunities.
Research has it that employers/funders are willing to employ/fund a less intelligent person/team who has/have a firm grasp of emotional intelligence over one who solely has a higher intelligence quotient (IQ).
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